...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
