So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
