1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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