i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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