Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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