Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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