Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
