i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
