my sisters under your porch take her home
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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