I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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