pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
