Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
