eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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