whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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