All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You took a bar mat shot.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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