he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
