apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
