@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
