Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
