I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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