New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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