Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
