I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
