You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
