and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
