And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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