i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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