super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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