i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
