Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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