You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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