It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
