you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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