It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
