you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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