I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
