Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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