So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
