Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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