he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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