I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
