Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
