I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
