sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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