We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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