can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
