what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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