do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?