yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes