They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
