I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
