return my video game
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
