totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
