He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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