how can u be prego again
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
