Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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