Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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