I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
