3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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