i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
